Dream 7: Vacation

This is a short dream because I had it during my nap today. It revealed a lot to me, some of which I already knew but hadn't really thought about too much.

I went to England. I had gotten a paid internship in London with a publishing company and had gladly accepted the opportunity. I got an apartment and started to get settled in. I walked through the streets of London to work every morning after grabbing my breakfast at the cafe next to my apartment and basked in the newness of my life. Everything was new: the smells, the tastes, the sounds, even the air I was breathing was new. And it was wonderful. I met all kinds of new people, both inside and out of my internship. I had new experiences. I felt new.

I woke up with an acute desire to apply for an internship in London. My reasons for this were varied but mostly I was overcome by the desire for all of that new. And I figured it out. My brain is letting me know what it is I want, maybe even what I need - a clean slate. A fresh beginning. A new place with new people to surround myself with. Sure it's terrifying and vulnerable but it's much better than being stifled and pigeon-holed for the rest of my life. Kansas City is wonderful and full of lots of lovely people but I need to get away, to find something else, experience something else. I need to do this so that I can finally start to live. I mean to really live. It's not that I hate Kansas or that I want to get away from my family or that I've made a mess of my life here and want a new one to try. It's something else entirely. It's a need to see the world, a need to do something. And my brain is just reminding me of that, so that I don't get caught up in doubts and do the easy thing. I need to do the hard thing this time and maybe, just maybe, I'll make a difference in this world.