Crushing

The French have this saying, "l'appel du vide".

It describes the feeling you get when standing on the edge of a cliff and have the unexplainable urge to jump.

That's kind of how I feel whenever I'm around you.

I want to drive you wild. I want you to look at me from across the room and be in awe. I want to swim in your brainwaves. I want you to slow dance with me in the sleepy hours of the night, breathing in the perfume of my skin and listening to the lullaby of my heartbeat. I want you to rescue me from my own destruction. I want to be vulnerable with you. I want you to sing me to sleep. I want to be your someone. I want to give you my love and be loved by you in return. I want you.

You're like the wind; free and gentle. I feel you close for a second and then you're gone, drifting away like a summer breeze. I want to get a glass jar and trap you inside, so you can't roam away, so you'll have to stay on my desk all the time or next to my pillow or in my bag when I go to class. It won't be a problem; I'll take good care of you, I promise. But that won't make you love me, will it?

Why do you tease me so? One moment you're smiling at me and talking to me and looking at me with that look in your eye that I can never define and the next you're brushing on by, leaving the hair standing up on my arms the only proof that you were even here. I feel so trapped between the earth and the sky when that happens. I turn into a dithering mess of emotions.

You're the wind and you know no bounds, you see no end to anything. And it's beautiful. But if you're the wind, how could you possibly love me?

You don't see yourself the way I do. You think you're awkward and unlovable and really kinda strange. But none of that is true; you just don't fit the stereotypical mold. That's what I love about you. You see your quirks as flaws; but are they really considered flaws if someone's in love with them? Cause I'm in love with your idiosyncrasies. It's not about your looks or how smart, cool or funny you are. You've got a heart of gold. That's all that matters. That's all I want.

I'm sorry I get attached so easily. I don't plan to, it just happens.